- A Debbie Harry - a fair crack up the middle aka "A Blondie"
- A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
- A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
- A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
- A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
- A Michael Jackson - great at the beginning but gradually fading
- An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to be a good result
- An Alistair Campbell - too much spin
- An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
- A Rodney King - over-clubbed
- An O.J. Simpson - somehow got away with it
- A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good
- A mistress / the sister- in law - I'm up there, but I know that I
shouldn't be
- A Sally Gunnell - it's ugly but it's still running
- A Gerry Adams - hitting a provisional
- A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
- An Adolf Hitler - taking two shots in a bunker
- A nipple licker - a shot that opens up the hole.
- A ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems
- A Paris Hilton - a bloody expensive hole
- A Kate Moss - thinned it
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