Golfing terms...

Driving

  • A Debbie Harry - a fair crack up the middle aka "A Blondie"
  • A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
  • A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
  • A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
  • A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
  • A Michael Jackson - great at the beginning but gradually fading
  • An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to be a good result
  • An Alistair Campbell - too much spin
  • An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
  • A Rodney King - over-clubbed
  • An O.J. Simpson - somehow got away with it
  • A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good
  • A mistress / the sister- in law - I'm up there, but I know that I shouldn't be
  • A Sally Gunnell - it's ugly but it's still running
  • A Gerry Adams - hitting a provisional

The Short Game

  • A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
  • An Adolf Hitler - taking two shots in a bunker
  • A nipple licker - a shot that opens up the hole.
  • A ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems
  • A Paris Hilton - a bloody expensive hole
  • A Kate Moss - thinned it

Putting

  • A Dennis Wise / Diego Maradonna - a nasty little five footer
  • A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
  • A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight but it wasn't
  • A Cuban - needs one more revolution
  • Putting like a gynecologist's assistant - shaving the hole